Germantown Elementary School District #60

In last week’s SEL Spotlight, we explored how conflict—even when uncomfortable—helps kids learn communication, empathy, and problem-solving. We also reviewed how identifying small versus big problems empowers children to better manage disagreements and know when to seek adult help.

Once we have established the size of the problem, we need to use a calm-down strategy. Regardless of age, toddlers to adults, we struggle to solve a problem when emotions are high. To re-activate the “thinking part” of our brain, we first need to be calm. To do this, we can:

Practice box breathing. Remember, this is a practice. We have to practice when we are calm. Build it into a daily routine like right before bed or once your kids get home from school. If we wait until emotions are high to try, it will not work. Have you ever tried figuring something out when you’re already frustrated? It usually ends in more frustration.

Move your body. Walk to the mailbox. Run around the house. Jump on the trampoline. Just move your body. Moving outside is even better.

Get a big drink of cold water.

Do something relaxing. Build with Legos, color, doodle, write, listen to music.

Count to 10, backwards from 10, to 100, whatever is helpful in regaining control.

By practicing these strategies regularly, kids learn that calming down is the first---and most important---step in solving problems. With steady routines, modeling, and guidance, they’ll feel more confident handling conflicts as they arise.